When disappointment hits, it's like our brains go into overdrive. We're suddenly thinking about what we could've done differently to change the outcome. You've been there. So have I, my friends, family, and coaching clients – especially when it involves dream job near-misses.
It's okay, no, important, to step back and feel those initial waves of frustration, anger, or just plain disappointment. It's all part of the healing process.
But then what?
What if we could flip the script? What if that "no" points to an even better "yes"?
Hunter's Story
Hunter had been through the wringer for a job at a big-name company - a leader in their field. We're talking months of interviews, demos, and even several paid trips because the right people weren't available the first time. Hunter wanted this job, badly. They were all set to pack up and move for it. Then the company puts everything on hold to internally regroup about the role.
Hunter's first reaction? "If I had wowed them, they would've hired me. Where did I go wrong?"
Sound familiar?
This is where my job gets fun. I got to challenge Hunter to see things differently, to explore other more empowering perspectives like:
An undefined role leads to a mismatch of skills and unrealistic expectations. The company is expanding rapidly and may not have fully realized what it needs in this role. Not getting an offer may have avoided an unnecessary failure.
The company's handling of the interview process is a red flag about its culture and internal communications. Not getting an offer may have been a bullet dodged.
Being passed over could simply mean the role wasn't a good fit for Hunter. Better to realize that now, before relocating or making another life-altering decision... aka bullet dodged.
"Am I just trying to convince myself this is for the best?"
You know what's amazing? Watching clients like Hunter shift their perspective. As we reframed the situation, Hunter's resilience kicked in. They started processing the disappointment without letting it define their worth. But let's be real – there was still this nagging doubt...
Until three weeks later.
Hunter saw a social media post from the CEO they would've worked with, who they wanted to work with (the whole reason for applying for the job), and let's just say it wasn't pretty. Suddenly, not getting that job felt less like their miss, and more like a narrow escape.
But here's the best part – and I love it when this happens – Hunter's whole energy shifted. Not only did they dive back into their career work with renewed verve, but they tackled a personal creative project that had been on the back burner for a long time.
Sometimes, going for that big, scary opportunity reminds us what we're truly capable of.
Judy Garfinkel helps you clarify "what's next." Her expertise in building confidence and resilience supports personal development and the ability to navigate career and work transitions – especially now! She is a PCC and certified Trauma Informed Coach. Judy also crafts bespoke resumes, cover letters, LinkedIn profiles, and bios that open doors for her clients and interview prep that unlocks authenticity and lands jobs. Judy is a Past President of the International Coaching Federation - Connecticut Chapter, where she led 250+ member coaches. You can reach her at judy@moveintochange.com.
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