As Halloween creeps closer, let’s glide past the candy aisle to focus on a topic haunting our lives—the skeletons in our emotional closet. Hidden fears and past shame can hinder growth and progress or be key to unlocking stuck places!
Everyone’s got something they want to hide… These could be past regrets, insecurities, failed experiences in career and other parts of life. Your emotional skeletons might include past mistakes, moments of vulnerability, or instances when you felt like you didn't measure up. Your job skeletons might include resume gaps, job mismatches, or botched projects. Maybe you've been part of a toxic workplace, been fired, or made decisions you’d rather forget. They're all part of your unique story.
One of the primary reasons we hide our skeletons is FOJ—fear of judgment. We worry that if people knew what was in our emotional closet they would see us differently. But the truth is, everyone has their skeletons—they're part of the human experience.
Those ancient cultures knew something important…
The origins of Halloween are rooted in rituals for confronting our fears – dressing up as scary things and venturing out into a night filled with unknowns and frightening surprises. We shine a light, meet the ghouls, and not only do we survive, but we leave with treats!
The fact that we keep our skeletons hidden is what gives them power – power over the choices that determine our future – holding us back from getting satisfaction and joy in our working life.
If you’ve got skeletons, check out these 4 Tricks that lead to Treats:
1. Start by acknowledging your skeletons and practice self-compassion. Accept that they exist, have a right to exist, and that they're part of what makes you you.
2. Reflect on what you've learned from these experiences (adopt a growth mindset). How have they made you more compassionate, empathetic, or understanding? Did the experience redirect your career or other life choices for the better? Focus on what you gained.
3. Resist the temptation to define yourself by your mistake(s)! Highlight your growth, resilience, and adaptability
4. It’s brave to take on your skeletons. Embracing them shows resilience, growth, and authenticity—qualities that employers often value more than a pristine, skeleton-free resume.
Remember that there are people – mentors, peers, therapists, and coaches – who can help you navigate these conversations and provide guidance on addressing your skeletons effectively. Don't let those skeletons scare you away from pursuing your dreams.🎃👻🕷️
Judy Garfinkel helps you clarify "what's next." Her expertise in building confidence and resilience supports personal development and the ability to navigate career and work transitions – especially now! She is a certified Trauma Informed Coach. Judy also crafts bespoke resumes, cover letters, LinkedIn profiles, and bios that open doors for her clients and land jobs. Judy is a Past President of the International Coaching Federation - Connecticut Chapter, where she led 250+ member coaches. You can reach her at judy@moveintochange.com.